Valentine’s Day is finally on a Friday this year! ❤️ Whether you’ll be celebrating Galentines or Valentines, I hope you know that you are loved, above all, by God. I don’t write that nonchalantly either… You are precious in the sight of God. In fact, the Bible speaks of a woman in this way: “She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” Proverbs 3:15 (NIV). I hope the truths below speak to you and assure you of your worth in the eyes of the Lord.
With Valentine’s Day coming up, I wanted to share a bit on intentionality and love. Though my thoughts are shared with a biblical marriage in mind, it really applies to all relationships with those we love and hold close to our hearts. 💗
Pray For Your Spouse
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
Marriage isn’t always easy and, though it can bring happiness, it is not happiness in and of itself. It’s the joining together of two imperfect people. Marriage takes consistent work and commitment and faithfulness in prayer. With that being said, when was the last time you dedicated time to pray over your husband and your marriage? 🙏
It is vitally important that, as wives, we pray intentionally over our husbands. It doesn’t have to be a long-drawn-out prayer. When you commit 5 or 10 minutes each day to pray specifically for your spouse, you will see a difference in your marriage. Pray over your husband when things are going well and especially pray for him when things aren’t going so well. Instead of complaining or acting out in frustration, we should strive to turn to prayer first because prayer is effective. You can trust that God will bless you and your marriage when you humble yourself and pray intentionally for your husband. 👫
One resource that I highly recommend to help guide and focus your prayer time over your husband is this book, 31 Prayers for My Husband. There’s even an edition for those in the season of singleness called 31 Prayers for My Future Husband. Another great resource that focuses more on the overall power of prayer (still including marriage) is called Fervent: A Woman’s Battle Plan to Serious, Specific and Strategic Prayer.
*Have you seen War Room? If you haven’t I definitely recommend this film and it’s powerful message!
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 (NIV).
If I’m being completely honest, forgiveness hasn’t always been the easiest thing for me to impart. I can be really good at holding grudges and remembering past wrongs. It wasn’t until marriage did I realize how selfish I was in expecting my husband to forgive me in .2 seconds, yet I would literally give him the cold shoulder for HOURS on end. It pains me to admit that, but it’s the truth. Y’all forgiveness is key in marriage and it’s one way of being intentional (along with communication, but we’ll get to that next).
When we hold anger or bitterness in our hearts, it only causes us to become increasingly defensive toward our spouse. I’m not perfect and neither is he. When we forgive, we’re able to start fresh and peace is restored. What has helped me in the area of forgiveness is to think of all the times God has forgiven me – A LOT of times! He has forgiven me more times than I’ll ever be able to count. Our mindset should be this: I have the opportunity to forgive my spouse and this is a privilege.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” James 1:19 (NIV)
With today’s technology, we’re constantly connected yet there’s oftentimes a lack of communication. At the center of a healthy marriage is being able to communicate in a way that’s respectful and allows our spouse to feel heard and understood. We’re all different, so the way we communicate with each other is unique to each person. Finding ways to be intentional with the way we communicate is important. For example, in my marriage, I tend to need some space and don’t like to discuss right then and there if there’s a disagreement. My husband respects this and allows me time to process my thoughts and emotions. We’re able to come together later on in the day and discuss with me being more level-headed. Lol
Additionally, I think knowing our spouse’s love language is a real benefit and useful tool when it comes to communication in marriage. For me, Words of Affirmation is my love language. For my husband, his love language is Quality Time. Knowing this helps each of us to better communicate and serve each other in the way each of us feels most understood.
Note: Yes, it’s important to be aware of and put into practice each love language, and no, these love languages aren’t the be-all and end-all of marriage advice. If you haven’t heard of the 5 Love Languages and would like to take the quiz to learn more about your love language, here’s a link.
Create Daily Habits
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, 6 so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 15:5-6 (NIV)
I think having daily habits is really sweet and romantic. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but the point is for it to be thoughtful. Saying good morning with a kiss is a great way to start the morning off right. And ending the day with “I love you” and one thing you’re thankful for about your husband makes for the most peaceful sleep. 😌 Here are a few more simple but meaningful and intentional ways to show your love: Leave a cute note somewhere your spouse will see it, randomly send a sweet text message or email during the day, make their coffee (or favorite drink) so it’s ready for them before they leave for work, hold hands while watching TV, etc. (One thing my husband and I used to do when his work schedule was busier was do our errands together just so we’d be able to spend that time together and be intentional in that way). By cultivating these daily habits, you’re being intentional in showing how much you value your husband.
*Leave a comment letting me know what daily habit(s) you and your spouse do. I’d love to know!
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” Ephesians 5:22-27 (ESV)
It may seem cliché to say spending quality time with your spouse is important, but intentionally setting aside time to date your husband truly is a huge part of having a successful marriage. In this season of marriage, my husband and I have a lot of freedom because we don’t have kids, so we’re able to have weekly date nights. We know that this will likely change during different seasons of life. However, what we know won’t change is that we will always set aside time to re-connect because it’s THAT important.
Planning a weekly date night (or day date) where we silence our phones and can simply be together has been a huge blessing. During this time we can dream together, talk about life, have lots of laughs (and some tears), and just soak up the time we have together, one on one. We don’t always go out. In fact, we’re home bodies, so for a lot of our dates we simply stay in and have a yummy meal with a special dessert. But we do love to go exploring around our local nature preserves, visit historical sites, walk the beach with our favorite flavor of ice cream, or try out something new, like holding baby alligators in the Everglades! Lol The point is to spend time with each other and re-connect, however that means for you. 😘
Marriage and showing love takes intentionality, but it’s well worth the time and effort. This short list of ways to be intentional with love is certainly not all-inclusive. I’d love to hear the intentional ways you and your spouse show each other love. Leave me a comment! 💗